lunes, 11 de julio de 2011

Writing spree

I don't know why I like to write in english even though my native language is spanish, I think it's just that it sounds better coming out of my mouth, it's more ambiguous, lets a writer add more mystery to a story, no gender specific multiple meaning for words and a lot more word play than other languages.

Perhaps considering myself a writer would be arrogant of myself, I don't know. I know I can't really see myself doing something other than writing for too long, in the end everything bores me, but this, I can hardly get bored. I've never been that good at speaking, I stutter when I'm too nervous and I speak too quickly. I remember when I was 13 I was almost forced into a public speaking competition, that was embarrassing. I can't memorize full speeches or songs for that matter, I don't know why I can't say something word to word and if I try I fuck up trying to construct everything in my mind.

Same goes for singing, I've had to sing for people few times in my life, one in a stage it was a rap about environment, yes, it was that bad. It was for school, the second time it was also for school, but I could choose a song and I chose Hemorrhage by Fuel and sang a Capella.

To understand my fear of public singing, my family and friends aren't that supportive, I'm not that bad for karaoke night or rock band, but they make it seem as if puppies die when I try to sing a tune. So I closed my eyes and sang for everyone, with my eyes closed, my classmates liked it, said I was pretty good. Either way, I fucked up the lyrics.

When writing I am encouraged to just establish what is on my mind, and I don't have the pressure of speaking, needless to say, I'm way better at it. When I write I can correct myself before anyone notices, I can add things wherever I want regardless of how advanced I am at it. And some days I have the inspiration of a thousand goddesses and can write for long periods of time.

I shall try to make it into the writing world, probably not in spanish, everything I write in it sounds fake and forced. I love the language, I love my country, I just can't express myself the way I'd like to with it. Also, i remodeled the blog to make it look less paranoid schizophrenic without any art skills, it was good for a while, but I needed something fresh. Like this.

Peace, and keep happy.

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